we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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