My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
