if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
