Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
