Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Everclear isn't food dammit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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