All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize