): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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