smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Did we literally take a cab across the street
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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