My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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