I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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