I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
