he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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