Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
