I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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