chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
