Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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