I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am available for nakedness
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
