Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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