I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
