She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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