A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
