It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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