just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
