opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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