Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
