Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
