I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This gyro tastes like lonliness
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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