I need help removing her.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize