roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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