dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
