Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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