I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
