Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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