i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
