and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
