1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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