I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize