I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
