having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
