New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
