I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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