Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
