She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
