Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
