Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
