ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize