I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My pussy is not your playground.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
