The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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