If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
