he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
