i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
