sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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