Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
