I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
