You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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