two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
50% drunk capacity currently
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
