her vagine was all disorganized.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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