More tranny stories later!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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